MSW, LICSW Abby Barlament Integrated Behavioral Health
When you scroll through your social media feed, you may notice memes, reels and sayings: “Raising a teenager: the reason God made wine,” “What type of wine goes best with laundry?” or “I am woman, hear me pour.”
These lighthearted memes fuel the “mommy wine culture,” which normalizes the use of alcohol to cope with the stress of motherhood and the demands of work and home life. At the same time, alcohol consumption among women is on the rise.
Here are 5 ways to build healthy coping habits without alcohol.
- Forget FOMO. Social media posts that promote mommy wine culture can give us that FOMO (fear of missing out) feeling if we aren’t partaking. Limit social media use which can make us compare ourselves to others, usually putting ourselves down in the process. Social media can also prioritize instant gratification and lead to decisions that have negative long-term effects. Instead, practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is being aware of our thoughts and feelings, accepting them as they are, and letting go of self-judgement. Spending time in nature and practicing guided meditation can help with this.
- Connect with clarity. Find other ways to connect with moms. Being in community with others who are experiencing similar stressors reminds us we are not alone in our struggles. Join an exercise or yoga class, go for walks with each other, schedule play dates with your children’s friends and their moms. Find venues to spend time with friends that offer alternatives to alcohol such as board game nights, movie theaters, arts and craft classes, hikes, and cultural events. Online, a growing sober mom movement is challenging the mommy wine culture. Follow people and accounts that promote healthy habits and alcohol-free lifestyles.
- Replace wine o’clock with self-care. Focus on physical wellness and emotional care. Prioritize getting 7 to 9 hours of sleep, healthy eating, and moving your body. Activities such as journaling, meditation, and social media breaks have shown to have positive mental health outcomes. Practice spending time engaging in hobbies and activities that bring you joy. Do these activities with the intention of focusing on yourself. When you’d normally enjoy a glass of wine or cocktail, indulge in a non-alcoholic fizzy beverage or cozy cup of tea.
- Seek emotional and mental health support. First, get comfortable with saying “no”. Setting healthy boundaries prioritizes your time and energy for the things that are important to you. Find another parent who understands the stress and overwhelm you’re under. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from someone you trust. If you notice continued feelings of inadequacy, feeling down, sad or overwhelmed, avoidance of tasks and responsibilities, difficulty sleeping, or appetite changes, contact your health care professional and ask for a referral for mental health therapy.
- Watch for signs of alcohol addiction. If you notice these warning signs, seek professional help from your health care provider or mental health therapist.
- Drinking more than intended
- Strong cravings to drink
- Spending a significant amount of time drinking alcohol or recovering from hangovers
- Trouble functioning at work, school or other areas
- Prioritizing drinking over other activities that used to be enjoyable
- Drinking even though it makes depression and anxiety symptoms worse
- Need to drink more to achieve the same effect
- Withdrawal effects such as shakiness, irritability, restlessness, nausea
Remember, motherhood isn’t a solo journey. Seek the support you need to truly fill your cup.